What's your silver lining?

There is a silver lining in everything we do, say, touch or imagine.

So...my last entry helped me through a difficult "moment" along with the help of two very dear "friends" of mine. My two daughters. I am so blessed to have them in my life! Thanks girls! Open, honest communication will resolve anything life sends your way. Having someone to bounce ideas off of is not so bad either. 45 minutes later, my honey and I agree, cliff-notes are the way to go. He understands when I "panic" I am not looking for him to "fix" anything, just listen. That is the greatest gift of all between us is the listening.

I do have great people in my life. To you all I say, "Thank you for being there!"

Now, back to the silver linings. Life is not about what happens to you but how you respond to it! I keep relearning that lesson. Every so often, I am reminded, just how important it is.

Follow-up day was today with my urologist. I was given a clean bill of health, kidney wise and he was totally impressed with my weight loss and my commitment to healthier living through eating well and exercising. 5 years from now, if I want another sonogram on the kidneys/bladder, we will do one. Otherwise, no worries.

I also treated myself to a new watch today. It has already stopped keeping time. Probably needs a new battery! There is a reason it stopped at 10:57AM, right now I do not know what that reason is but soon it will be revealed to me.

Well...tomorrow is date night! This has become my "dirty-martini" night. I look forward to it all week. I think I may need to find another drink. Can't linger too long on the same one as then I am too predictable, I need to take my badness back from Michael. He says that he would never have taken this chance on this new business if I didn't encourage him to "fly". He is usually a very cautious person, I am the diver. I just took him to the ledge and he trusted me enough to follow me and now he has learned how to "fly", now he likes the freedom so much that we have switched places. Careful Mikey...I am taking my badness back.....or maybe now that you have learned how to fly.......we will continue to become an even bigger badder force than before! Hmmm.....I like the sound of that!

Growing pains

This has been an incredible year.
So many things are changing and I am so lost.
It all started last year. We bought a new home (condo) in Lititz to be exact, painted it, cleaned it and moved in. It felt great to be home. Next, Lexi went off to college, all in all she did very well with her first year and has grown into a much more user friendly young adult.
By around October we started to talk about our future, where we wanted to be in 5 years (now we have been having the same conversation for the past 7 years so you'll forgive me for thinking this was the same "lets buy a mustang" chat). To make a long story short....We now own another property in Sarasota, Florida, that is absolutely amazing, and I can't wait to actually see it again. I saw it once, flew back to PA, we made the offer, bought the house and here we are, waiting for an opportunity to go back to re-visit "our" house and quite frankly "Pinch myself"!
The next order of business was for Michael to quit his current job, find a new one, create a new one or become a beach bum in Florida that just happens to be the proud owner/operator of "Coffee a la mode". (Only the best coffee shop in Sarasota, opening date to be determined once we move there full-time). Well, he did quit his job, lots of drama around that, he is developing a new career joining forces with two business partners, which by the way is going to be gangbusters if the current trend of phone calls is any indication of upcoming success.
So, why I ask you do I feel so lost?
I am currently feeling "on the outside looking in". It is incredibly wierd...Our once incredible connection to each other and looking at life as "we" has taken on a very individualized feel to it. I no longer feel connected. So much is happening that only my significant other is doing, that I feel as though I am only along for the ride, left behind so to speak. When we do have time to talk at Michael's own admission he is "not present" therefore, most often he is preoccupied in his own mind and I am audibly cranky/irritated at having to repeat myself multiple times knowing he is not going to remember anything anyway, because his life is moving so quickly. Knowing myself the way I do, I know it is only a matter of time before I shut down, check out, so to speak and do not bother. This will, I do realize, only make communication worse. I am definately at a loss. This is the first time I am experiencing this with Michael. We are very seperate, even when we are together. It saddens me. Well....maybe now I have a starting point to open conversation with him.
As for me, I am looking to develop "girlfriend" relationships to fill my time,start taking yoga classes, or join a gym and get a personal trainer. I really hate this. And am quite resentful, knowing full well, that I encouraged him to run with the bulls. Now, I have become the cheerleader in his life rather than an active participant in our life.

...as is the title "growing pains" I am sure that this too shall pass, eventually.