When did I learn to stop playing?
Today I took a walk, much like any other day when I walk, only this time when I rounded to corner to begin my treck home, a thought overtook me. "I want to go into the park and swing on the swings...OMG,, what if they are not up yet? Then what?" Much to my surprise the swings were up, the neighborhood kids are in school and I can goof off! When did I forget how much fun I used to have being a kid? Swings, running, playing baseball in the back yard, riding my bike, playing "hide and go seek" playing my guitar. Seriously....how does adulthood take over? Ugh! The swings were GREAT the fresh air in my face, my legs pumping, pushing me to go higher and higher "OK..now jump off!" Luckily...my next thought was..."Really...you might feel like a kid again, but you really are older and much wiser and you might break something.. so don't!" I didn't.
As I continued my walk home, I continued to remember more of me. Round peg into a square hole. Yep...that's been me most of my life trying to fit. Being judged poorly because, well, I don't fit. And really that has always been ok for me. I am not happy conforming. Yes... I have conformed in many areas of my life, but now I wonder...What's so wrong with being round. Is there a rule book I missed somewhere?
I just told my husband the other day (while talking about my cellular phone plan..."Please, don't tell me what I have to do to make it work...let's find one that works for me!" That's what I have always wanted in life...One that works for me. I have found comfort, peace, love and happiness in my marriage. I have found great strength and pride being a parent to my ultra-fab kids and have really smart, cute and sassy grandkids!
So...instead of growing up more, I believe I would like to continue on my quest to get back to the me that I am comfortable being.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Self-Preservation
Life is too short I tell you!
Very cliche, but seriously...Take time to smell the roses!
I have spent most of my adult life working too hard, too many hours, too much energy, too much to the "things" in life that do not matter!
Learning to leave work at work and really focus on the things that do count is my focus for 2009. More time for me. More time for family, friends, healthy food, wine and of course the occassional tequila.
Lettting go of the junk that gets in the way.
Yesterday I realized, while sitting at a District meeting that what I do on a daily basis is a direct contradiction to what I believe in, but has become my way of "helping" other women grow. I deal daily with women who believe "The only way to feel good about yourself is to dress the part, look a certain way, (be the perfect size...etc). I listened to another store manager talk about the wonders of "Spanx" the miracle tummy tuck....and how you can look 5 lbs slimmer instantly! What have we become when we promote artifical means of "how to feel better about yourself fast, through Spanx!" Women need self confidence, self confidence that comes through a belief in themselves that we are all special, because we count for who we are and what we contribute to our lives. Being healthy should be our number one concern when it comes to weight, not whether or not you are the right size in order to fit into societies standards of what our bodies should look like.
Now my challange will be to learn how to transition into a new playing field for women. The real message is take care of yourself, don't worry about being the right size for society. Instead worry about eating healthy, getting enough exercise, and sleeping well. 50 is amazing..........my road is definately going in a new direction.
Very cliche, but seriously...Take time to smell the roses!
I have spent most of my adult life working too hard, too many hours, too much energy, too much to the "things" in life that do not matter!
Learning to leave work at work and really focus on the things that do count is my focus for 2009. More time for me. More time for family, friends, healthy food, wine and of course the occassional tequila.
Lettting go of the junk that gets in the way.
Yesterday I realized, while sitting at a District meeting that what I do on a daily basis is a direct contradiction to what I believe in, but has become my way of "helping" other women grow. I deal daily with women who believe "The only way to feel good about yourself is to dress the part, look a certain way, (be the perfect size...etc). I listened to another store manager talk about the wonders of "Spanx" the miracle tummy tuck....and how you can look 5 lbs slimmer instantly! What have we become when we promote artifical means of "how to feel better about yourself fast, through Spanx!" Women need self confidence, self confidence that comes through a belief in themselves that we are all special, because we count for who we are and what we contribute to our lives. Being healthy should be our number one concern when it comes to weight, not whether or not you are the right size in order to fit into societies standards of what our bodies should look like.
Now my challange will be to learn how to transition into a new playing field for women. The real message is take care of yourself, don't worry about being the right size for society. Instead worry about eating healthy, getting enough exercise, and sleeping well. 50 is amazing..........my road is definately going in a new direction.
Monday, March 2, 2009
SNOW!?!?!?
So here we are Monday, March 2, 2009. Wake up...6:30AM light dusting of snow. By 9AM we have accumulated 4"-5" of the white stuff with no end in sight! I do have the day off though! Dentist calls to cancel completing my crown work, due to snow and a drive of 45 min in good weather to his office! ugh!
It is now noon and the white stuff seems to have slowed! Seriously....Phil did you have to see your shadow?
So now for the juicy part. Life as I have know it for forever, has taken a really odd road and menopause sucks. HRT drugs and I really have not gotten along, any/every side effect you can imagine I, of course have experienced since Feb. 13. I am now clean of any/all HRT meds! My adrenal gland has been overworked and fatigue has set in, not at all acceptable! Sleep does not even clear up the level of fatigue (absolutely zero energy) I have been experiencing.....so off we go to correct all the craziness. I now have a new regime of amazing vitamins from an incredible "female" pharmacist! In 5 days I am actually seeing improvement in my eyes staying open. WOW!
My day off today will be filled with writing schedules for my staff and working on my review for my boss. Due Wednesday at the District meeting. Ok...but I need to tell you I am a little concerned about staying awake during the meeting, I mean, they are usually boring and overdone, and I have a hard time staying engaged when my body is normal, let alone in the condition I am in now!
I think a walk downtown in the snow would be appropriate for the day! It will refresh my state of mind or it will freeze my a.. off. Either way it is sure to do me good!
It is now noon and the white stuff seems to have slowed! Seriously....Phil did you have to see your shadow?
So now for the juicy part. Life as I have know it for forever, has taken a really odd road and menopause sucks. HRT drugs and I really have not gotten along, any/every side effect you can imagine I, of course have experienced since Feb. 13. I am now clean of any/all HRT meds! My adrenal gland has been overworked and fatigue has set in, not at all acceptable! Sleep does not even clear up the level of fatigue (absolutely zero energy) I have been experiencing.....so off we go to correct all the craziness. I now have a new regime of amazing vitamins from an incredible "female" pharmacist! In 5 days I am actually seeing improvement in my eyes staying open. WOW!
My day off today will be filled with writing schedules for my staff and working on my review for my boss. Due Wednesday at the District meeting. Ok...but I need to tell you I am a little concerned about staying awake during the meeting, I mean, they are usually boring and overdone, and I have a hard time staying engaged when my body is normal, let alone in the condition I am in now!
I think a walk downtown in the snow would be appropriate for the day! It will refresh my state of mind or it will freeze my a.. off. Either way it is sure to do me good!
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